Hate Me
by coldfiredragon
Summary: Speedy goes to far and ruins his friendship with Robin. some kissing, slashy in that respect. SpeedyRobin. Rating will go up later on.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own no part of Teen Titans or DC comics in any fashion. I will make no money from this piece of fiction.**

**AN: This fic kinda falls into both the Teen Titans cartoon and touches on things that happen in the DC comic books. THIS DOES NOT MAKE THIS FICTION CANON IN ANY SETTTING.**

**It probably best fits in the Teen Titans cartoon universe. The characters are Dick Grayson (Robin) and Roy Harper (Speedy).I hope everyone enjoys it. Be sure to leave me reviews. Most of the fic focuses on Roy but there are points when the perspective changes to Dick's POV. The changes are labelled by the character's name.**

**This fic is based on a the song "Hate Me" by Blue October. Since does not allow songfics the full version with the song lyrics can be found at my live journal which is linked through my author profile.

* * *

Roy**

His hand brushed the edge of the picture frame and Roy forced himself to stop throwing his things into his duffel bag only to stare around his nearly empty room. He had never thought that it would end like this. He never thought he would be leaving the closest thing that he had to a family because he had overstepped his bounds and done something stupid. He should have known that what he had with the Titans was too good to last, that it was too good for someone who had screwed up as many times as he had. They were bound to get tired of his antics and leave him on his own just like everyone else had. His parents had left him, Ollie had neglected him in favor of Dinah, and he had just alienated the only friend who had stood by him through everything.

Tears burned at the corners of his eyes but he stubbornly refused to let them fall. _/Not till I'm away from the tower. I can't cry here./_ Despite his desperate attempts to hold them in he couldn't stop them for long and he soon found himself on the floor with his back to the stripped bed and his knees pulled tightly to his chin.

God what had he done? In that moment he had never been more glad that the residential wing of Titans Tower had sound proofed walls and that his door was shut and locked to effectively block out the sound of his sobs.

He had thought that Dick would have understood and accepted him. He had hoped that his best friend would be able to offer him a sense of safety, and acceptance when his world had suddenly turned upside down. He had been grappling with the emotions that Dick had aroused in him when Dick had helped him in him kick his drug addiction. He had been grateful to have his best friend beside him as he slowly recovered. He had kept the feelings that Dick stirred in him hidden for months until they got slightly trashed after a mission and he lost it. He had mistaken his best friend's platonic love for something more and the second he had kissed Dick he had ruined the last thing that meant anything to him.

His sobs grew harder and he could feel himself withdrawing into the same little shell that he had erected to protect him when he had first started taking the heroine to numb the pain of having Ollie abandon him. The shell that Dick had helped him break down after he had recovered and begun to trust people not to abandon him again. Why did all the good things in his life come crashing down around his head the second he trusted them to be stable?

They fell because he destroyed them. He wasn't deserving of any love or affection and all his life would be was a constant stream of betrayals and heartbreak. He understood that now. His best friend hated him, Ollie still wondered where he had gone wrong, and Roy had just lost the one home he had because Dick didn't want him there any longer.

Even when he tried to do everything right he still managed to screw everything up. He had wanted to make himself a better person so he could repay Dick for sitting by his bedside when he was out of his mind due to drug withdraw. He knew Dick had been there through the worst. In his dreams he could still remember the welcome coolness of a washcloth as Dick wiped sweat from his brow during the worst of his fevers. He had tried so hard to make himself a better person and Dick had become his role model for doing so. The other boy had always seemed so perfect in his mind's eye. They were the only two Titans without powers and yet Dick had always seemed so infallible, like Superman in some ways and like Batman in others.

Roy on the other hand saw himself as fundamentally flawed. He was just a boy with a few trick arrows and an aim that never missed. He had aimed to make his life better but in doing so he had miscalculated and the one time he missed the target he did so by a mile. It was an odd metaphor for his life. He had worked so hard to impress Ollie, in hopes that Ollie would notice his skill but Ollie had always been distracted. Roy now knew that the source of that distraction had been Dinah but as a younger boy he had not understood why the man who had been his best friend and guardian had suddenly lost interest in him. He had acted out in the worst way possible. He had missed his goals and now he had made the same mistake with Dick.

How could he have been so stupid as to think that Dick's friendship had morphed into something more? He had never gotten the slightest hint that Dick felt any affection for him and Roy had given Dick no hint that he felt affection for him either. Roy had hid his feelings by chasing anyone in a skirt and he had led Dick to believe that he was nothing more to him than a hopeless flirt who couldn't commit to anything serious because he was afraid that whoever he committed to would leave him when they found out about his past.

Roy had deluded himself into believing that Dick was the only person who wouldn't abandon him no matter what he did. He had taken their friendship for granted and it had broken his heart when, after he had kissed Dick, Dick had told him to get out. To leave and not return.

Dick's words had been so final and Roy had known that there was absolutely no room for debate. He hadn't even tried to stop Dick as the boy stormed away from him towards his own room. He had simply done as his leader had ordered him to do and returned in silence to his room to begin packing.

Roy glanced back around his room once again and felt a sense of finality descend upon him. He still couldn't believe that his role as a Titan was over. The bareness of his room from where his belongings had been packed proved that it was over. He didn't even know where he was going to go yet. Not back to Ollie, that was for sure. His mentor still couldn't look at him without guilt brimming in his eyes and Roy did not want pity from the older man.

He guessed he would figure those things out as he had to. He would have to since he was no longer welcome in the place he considered home. With a sigh he wiped the remainder of his tears from his face with the back of his palm and forced himself to his feet. The last thing he wanted to do was to be caught lingering here after Dick had told him to get out.

**Dick**

Dick lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He could not believe what Roy had done. He had sensed that something had been off about the archer since Roy had begun his drug recovery. He had assumed that his best friend's behavior and awkwardness was a side effect of the fact that Roy knew that Dick had sat with him through the worst of that recovery. Dick had seen his best friend at his lowest and it had always humiliated Roy when people saw him as weak.

Dick had tried time after time to express to Roy that he didn't care about the drugs. He had tried to make Roy believe that he was happy to have his best friend alive and well and on the road to recovery. Dick didn't know what line he had crossed to make Roy believe that things could go beyond friendship. The kiss had been completely unexpected and he had reacted harshly, even though the kiss hadn't been entirely unwelcome.

The look on Roy's face when he had shoved the archer away now haunted him. Roy had been devastated and Dick's words had crushed the archer's spirits even more. "Leave and don't come back." He had seen the walls around Roy's soul crash into place in the brief second that their eyes had met and Dick knew that he had done more damage by pushing his best friend away then he might be able to undo.

He glanced at his clock and sighed. How long had it been since he had left Roy standing alone and emotionally devastated in the hall? He wasn't sure but he couldn't get the memories of Roy to leave him alone. Had he overreacted? It didn't take a master detective to know that he had and he knew that he had to apologize to Roy and try to get him to stay. He owed his friend that much.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. Something that had been nagging at the back of his mind since he had rejected Roy. God what had he done? He had completely abandoned his best friend just like everybody else had abandoned him. He had been so confused by Roy's actions that he had failed to see the effect that his rejection had had on Roy. He had done exactly what he promised Roy he would never do.

Feeling a sudden rush of panic Dick surged to his feet and took off at a run towards Roy's room. He hoped he wouldn't be too late to repair what he had done. He hadn't meant to go as far as he had.

**Roy**

Roy looked back at the Tower which had been his home for a little over a year now. This still didn't seem real but he knew it was. The feeling of Dick's lips against his own still haunted him like a phantom. If he closed his eyes he could almost feel and taste them again. Dick had tasted and smelled exactly like Roy had thought he would. Roy imagined that Dick tasted like what perfection would taste like if it had a taste. It would be crisp and clean with a hint of mint. The thought of how Dick had smelled and felt as Roy pressed himself against him caused him to ache with lose. He wanted to break down in tears again but he knew that he could not due so outside the Tower. He had to get away before he could do that again.

The memory of his first and only kiss with his best friend was quickly replaced with memories of Dick's reaction to that kiss. Being shoved away from Dick had felt like being punched in the stomach and it had left Roy reeling. It had hurt more than any of the pain he had experienced during his drug recovery. He had to leave or he would become lost in the memory. With a sigh he shifted his duffel bag to his opposite shoulder and glanced once again at the place which had been his home. Well it was home no more and he had to leave it behind him. He had needlessly sacrificed the best thing in his life and he knew that he would never be able to repair his relationship with Dick.

**Dick**

Dick reached Roy's room and pounded desperately on the door. When no response came within about a minute he furiously typed in the emergency override code for the security system. He waited a series of rapid heartbeats as the system identified the code and waited a few precious more as the door slid open.

His eyes were met with darkness and he snaked his hand along the wall until he found the light switch which he flipped with shaking fingers. His rapidly beating heart suddenly seemed to stop when he found the room empty. He stumbled into the room in shock and the door slid shut behind him. Roy couldn't be gone, it was impossible to conceive that his best friend was gone because of a few stupid words on his part. He and Roy had been together since they were kids. It seemed surreal to arrive in Roy's room only to find it devoid of any life.

In desperation he glanced around the room for any hint of his best friend. His keen eyes fell on the down turned form of a picture frame on the bedside table. It took all of Dick's strength to make it over to the bed and grasp the frame. The picture brought tears to his eyes for the first time. It was a picture of them the two of them that he had overlooked a million times when he had been in Roy's room. A picture of them relaxing on main sofa in the game room. It was just the two of them with Dick scowling at Starfire who had taken the picture while Roy had an impish grin plastered on his face.

The sight was too much for his already overloaded emotions and he found himself breaking down completely at his own stupidity and short sightedness. He had pushed his best friend away and he didn't know if he would ever get the chance to set things right.

* * *

**That's all for now. Let me know if you want to see a sequel in which the meet back up and try to patch up their differences. **


	2. The Ones Called Family

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, although if I did own any of it I want Speedy. I will get nothing from this publication.**

**Welcome to the follow-up chapter of "Hate Me". The response for the first chapter was so good that decided to write a follow up. This is the second chapter and the story will continue on from here. **

**This fic is mostly set in the Teen Titans toon-verse. It has a lot of aspects of the comic book universe to flesh it out. Where does it fall in the comic book universe I'm not exactly sure so don't go telling me I have things wrong.**

**This is slightly slashy as everyone knows and will get more so as the story progresses. This chapter introduces Oliver Green (Green Arrow) and Dinah Lance (Black Canary). Ollie was Roy's guardian in the comics, Dinah was at one point Ollie's love interest.**

**Please be kind. I love reviewers. You are all the best. The more reviews I get the faster I write.**

**Okay, enough of the warnings, let's get on with the fic.**

**

* * *

**

"The Ones Called Family"

Roy could not believe he was doing this, he could not believe he was standing outside his guardian's apartment with his fist raised to knock. It was insane, if he had just kept his hormones in check he would still be at Titans Tower. He would still have a home, and a best friend, and he would not be back in Star City about to ask his estranged guardian if he could crash on his couch.

His hand quivered slightly and he dropped it to his side. He hadn't knocked yet. He still had time to back out if he really wanted to. Where would he go though? Dick had made it quite clear that he wasn't welcome back at the tower. Not for the first time Roy cursed his own stupidity and asked himself if everything he touched was destined to go up in flames.

His mother had died when he was an infant, his father had died when he was a boy, Brave Bow when he was thirteen. He thought he had finally found something special when Ollie had taken him in and made him his sidekick but that had only lasted until Ollie met Dinah. Not that Roy disliked Dinah, she had been like a mother to him when she didn't have Ollie in the bedroom and when he had gotten hooked on the drugs she had been there just like Dick had been there. The drugs, that had been his worst screw up to date, until he had pushed Dick away that is. His drug addiction had put he and Ollie at odds and they had never quite set things right, even after he had been clean for almost a year.

Roy was suddenly overcome with the urge to run. Ollie would not be pleased to see him. His presence would only irritate the older archer and make things worse between them. Roy didn't want that, he wanted to try and salvage some relationship with his former mentor. He had just reached down to pick up his bag and leave when the door opened and he came face to face with Oliver Queen.

"How long were you going to stand out here kid?" Roy interpreted the inquisitor y and worried tone of Ollie's voice for disdain and it confirmed Roy's fears. Suddenly he couldn't help but drop his eyes to the floor and in doing so he missed the look of concern that crossed his guardian's face. "Roy are you okay?" The softness of his words caused Roy's eyes to dart upward momentarily before returning to the floor. Silence reigned between them as the younger archer tried to force words past the lump that had formed in his throat.

"Roy?" Now Ollie's voice was tinged with genuine worry.

"I..." The first attempt at speech failed and Roy swallowed hard. "I... I, shouldn't be here." His hand darted down to grab the strap of his bag but Ollie was quicker and grabbed his wrist. He could feel Roy shaking even from the gentle touch. Immediately the older archer's mind was clouded with endless possibilities of what could have set the boy on edge so badly. His first thought was that Roy had slipped back into his heroin addiction but that didn't seem to be the case. Something deeply emotional was upsetting him and there was no way he was letting Roy leave.

"Calm down kiddo, just come inside and we will talk about it." He didn't wait for Roy to respond as he gently pulled his ward inside and directed him towards the sofa. When Roy was moving he went back into the hall and collected the duffel bag, bow, and quiver that Roy had left behind. He got back inside and caught the door with his foot to close it. The soft sound of the door falling shut caused Roy to look up from his attempt to memorize the pattern of the rug only to meet the inquisitive face of his guardian. As he did so Ollie couldn't help but notice the dark circles under the boy's eyes and the pain that was haunting the bright green orbs. He knew that whatever was bothering the boy was bad.

"Want to clue me in?" Ollie knew he had to be direct with Roy or he wouldn't get any answers but talking his ward had become a lot more difficult since he had found out that Roy had become a junkie under his nose. He constantly blamed himself for not having noticed that Roy was slowly destroying himself while they lived under the same roof. If it hadn't been for Dinah, Bruce, and Dick he might have lost the boy who was sitting in front of him. He had tried to repair their relationship but Roy had been so distant and when Roy had gone to join the Titans it had seemed like the best solution for all involved, even if it had left things strained between the two of them. Seeing as how Roy still hadn't responded to him he tried again, from a different angle this time.

"Why aren't you with the Titans?" He knew immediately that it was the wrong question to ask but it got him an answer.

"It didn't work out. It wasn't a good fit for me so I left, because of that I need a place to stay." Ollie knew that Roy wasn't telling him the whole story.

"What did Dick have to say about you leaving?" Roy just stared at the floor. When he finally spoke his voice was barely loud enough to hear.

"we had a falling out. I don't know what to do Ollie." Suddenly Roy's voice cracked and Ollie was horrified to see tears forming in Roy's eyes. He could count the number of times he had seen Roy actually cry on half a hand. He had no idea how to handle the situation. He was used to dealing with Roy's raging temper and loud mouthed outbursts. Emotional break-downs had never been his specialty. Luckily he was saved from any further reaction when a voice from the hall interrupted them.

"Ollie?" His head snapped up to see Dinah standing there. She was dressed in an over-sized t-shirt and a pair of shorts and Ollie had never been more glad to see her. Her eyes followed his as he glanced down at Roy and immediately the dark haired woman was across the room and pulling Roy into her arms. Roy for his part seemed grateful for the contact as he buried his face against her shoulder and allowed a sob to escape his throat.

"Shh, honey, come on, calm down Roy, I've got you. It's okay, whatever happened it's going to be all right." Dinah for her part was gently rocking the boy she considered to be her son while run a soothing hand through his short red hair. All the while continuing to whisper gentle words of comfort to the distraught boy. Ollie was amazed at how easily she could interact with Roy while he stood there with no idea what to do. Knowing he had to do something he knelt in front of the pair and gently place his hand on Roy's knee. The young man stiffened momentarily but quickly relaxed as Dinah continued to talk to him.

"It's going to be all right kiddo. Just calm down. I'll get the spare bedroom ready for you okay." Roy glanced up and nodded and Ollie patted the boy's knee in reassurance before moving away and collecting Roy's things. It wasn't until he reached the spare bedroom that he allowed himself to be upset over the situation. He knew his ward well enough to know that he and Dick wouldn't just 'fall out' over anything. Roy had done something and whatever it was the result was severe enough to damage the friendship between the two boys. Ollie also knew that he couldn't ask Roy about what had happened until Roy was ready to talk about it.

As he was getting the room ready he contemplated the few things he knew. Roy and Dick had obviously had a fight, a big one from the looks of things. He had no way of getting information short of calling Grayson at Titans tower and he was not doing that. The thought of Titans Tower made him stop. It was a several hour drive from the Tower to Star City. It was miracle that he had actually been awake, considering that it was almost two in the morning. He had come out to lock the chain and set the alarm when he had heard someone in the hall. A quick look at the security camera had revealed Roy. With a sigh he pushed the thought away. It was a question for later and one he would definitely be asking.

Having finished in the bedroom he made his way back to the living room. Roy was curled against Dinah and the petite woman was running her hand through his hair. As he approached she looked up at him and as he got closer he realized that Roy had actually fallen asleep against her. Dinah looked back down at the boy in her arms and even the soft lamp light Ollie could see the sadness in her face.

"What happened Ollie?" She asked quietly. The archer raked a hand through his blond hair and let out a frustrated sigh as he sat down opposite Dinah.

"He said he and Dick had a 'falling out'. Whatever that means." He sighed and looked down at the floor, scratching the back of his neck and shifting uncomfortably. "Let's get him to bed. I'm betting he drove all the way here from the tower. His bike is probably down in the parking garage. I'll check on it in the morning." Dinah nodded and moved so Ollie could scope Roy into his arms as she did so.

Once he had Roy in his arms Ollie was surprised by how lite his ward was. Roy may have been sixteen but there was hardly an inch of body fat on the boy and what weight there was consisted of lean muscle. As he stood Roy started to stir but didn't awaken fully. Ollie could hear Dinah following him down the hall as he made his way into the bedroom. Ollie lowered Roy into the bed and pulled the blankets around his young ward. As he did so he was taken back by how young Roy looked when he was asleep. He hadn't tucked Roy into bed like this since shortly after Roy had come to live with him.

"I'm sorry kiddo. I really messed up didn't I?" He knew Roy was asleep and couldn't hear him. That was probably the only reason he could say what he said. He knew that Dinah was standing in the doorway so he stood and walked over to her. She thought he was going to walk past her when he stopped behind her and pulled her against his chest. With a sigh he wrapped his arm around her waist as she leaned her head against his chest.

"He'll be okay Ollie." The older archer tensed against her and frowned. For several moments the two of them stood there and watched Roy shift in his sleep. Suddenly Ollie tightened his grip on Dinah and kissed the top of her head.

"I hope you're right pretty bird." He reached over and flipped the light switch. The room was instantly plunged into darkness save for the thin slants of moonlight which filtered through the blinds and fell across the bed. "Let's get some sleep." With that he pulled the door most of the way closed and followed Dinah towards their room.

* * *

**That is all for chapter 2. Chapter 3 should follow sometime soon. I'm not letting this one get dropped off the radar. School ends in a week and I will have plenty of time to update.**

**I just want to pull Roy into a hug right now. Thank god Dinah beat me to it. I was at a lose as to how Ollie was going to deal with Roy and then there she was. Such a wonderful woman don't you think? Please review guys, I love reviews.**


End file.
